Artemis Berenike

CHARACTER

Name: Artemis Berenike

Age: 16, 21st day of the 12th month

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Symbol:


Occupation: Student, new arrival at beacon

Appearance: Standing 6’1 and weighing 153 lb., the muscular frame of the boy easily fills in his suit of plate mail. With a generally neutral expression across is effeminate facial structure; some may regard him as attractive, but cold. His deep red eyes generally seem to be glaring or looking through its subject.

Spoiler:

History: The Berenike household isn’t anything too far out of the ordinary, excepting their casual and lax view of combat. Most see it as odd, but a tactical mindset is something that each child leaves the household with. Artemis had an older brother who was 6 years older than him. When he was young, the two of them trained together. Their father died towards the end of the Faunus Rights Revolution, so it was only his mother, who worked most of the time, his brother and himself in the Berenike household. Oddly enough it was a common occurrence, having the eldest Berenike die in the newest conflict. Despite Artemis and Orpheus' age difference, the two were very close. Most considered Orpheus to be genius when it came to combat, but in the eyes of most instructors Artemis was seen as sub-par or not to their expectations. Artemis tried his best not to let his instructor's judging eyes get to him.

After graduating from Beacon, Orpheus quickly got assigned to a hunting party. He was killed after his second hunt when he came into contact with an unknown species of Grimm. There was no body to recover.

When it came time for Artemis to select a weapon, he brought in his family's great shield and bastard sword, recently recovered from his brother's last known location. The weapons were at least the size of him at the time, but he was allowed to use them.

During his time at Signal, Artemis stood out from the rest his class due to his exceptional weapon skills, however he was never really regarded as social. In projects requiring cooperation, Artemis generally took over the majority of the project. Although the assignments got high marks, the point of the exercise was lost. Instructors also noted that Artemis did not look comfortable handling his weapon, often seeming to cringe or wince when doing more dynamic strikes.

Although his interest in dust abilities began in creating barriers, Artemis was able to pick up pyromantic dust abilities with general ease, learning skills that took weeks to master in an afternoon. He unfortunately did not have the same success with barriers, but understand the basics. The likely-hood of him actually casting a barrier is very slim.

Personality: Introverted, but open. Willing to communicate, but don’t expect him to begin the conversation. People are generally surprised by his calm, kind, and understanding nature. Not being the fan of the spotlight, Artemis will generally keep to himself, but is known to go out of his way to help others. Especially when he doesn't get credit for it.

Strengths: Creative swordplay, able to switch between offense and defense almost instantly. His weapons are broad and large enough to cover 50% of his person. Since the weapons are so light, Artemis can switch sword hands fast enough to parry and possibly disarm opponents, but still weigh on him personally. Oddly enough, the style he employs would be better suited to fight other humanoid opponents. Unfortunately, Artemis doesn't seem to be able to keep up using these tactics for long, seeing as he is rather slim.

Weaknesses:
The total weight of weapon and armor make him slow… terribly so.
Tires quickly and cannot outlast his opponent.
Misjudges strike distances and parry timings more than he should... Perhaps due to unfamiliarity with the weapon or inability to properly maneuver with it.

Semblance: Unbeknownst to him (Hint: It's blood. Using his blood from wounds he's sustained, he can mend the wounds of others. To mend his own wounds, he must spill blood. Probably isn't going to pass, but I figured I'd try. I also thought that using Grimm blood may have adverse affects on Artemis, but that idea is also a bit... advanced.)

WEAPON

Name: Pursuers

Primary Form: The blade and shield are rather simple. A broad bastard sword and kite shield made from a lightweight and durable metal alloy, which allows the user to easily wield the set with one hand each. Both the blade and shield can use dust to increase damage output or create barriers in short bursts. The weapon generally uses red dust to fuel it's attack, though Artemis sometimes uses the rare pink dust for "special occasions." His brother and father were able to use blackened dust with the weapon, but Artemis doesn't seem to ever carry any on his person.

History: Given to him by his father, who received it from his father and etc. The Berenike family always served in the military if Vale was at war. If not, they would generally switch to being hunters. Originally it is said that the blade was silver, but it seems that it’s shimmer has burned away. Artemis’ father, Panos, served in the last war and was quickly given the nickname Abysswalker, due to his blackened armor and weaponry. It would appear that Artemis has adopted the look.

First off, I Would like to see more brought out in the history section. Such as, describing his family, life as a younger child, any significant events in his life so far, and why his family has such a lax view of combat.

I would like to see a lot more added to the weaknesses section, as him slow isn't enough. I would recommend at least 3 that show up in combat.

Also, it may just be me but, I would like to know what kinds of dust comparable with the weapon? Or possibly work the best.

Thank you for the tips. I just edited the CS and added quite a bit. Tell me what you think and thanks again for the more direct help.

Alright, most of the needed edits are just in the semblance now. Although I noticed the coding error at the end of the post, but that's nothing huge.

Alright, the semblance needs some work. I wouldn't think you would have obtained knowledge from having a semblance. But you could possibly state somewhere else that he has some sort of background in pyromancy or etc. I would also like to know how large the swathes of flames are. Possibly a measurement, or an estimation would be fine as well. As for the runes, I would say pick one or the other. That being fireballs or bursts of flames, as I wouldn't really allow both. And it's also good to go in depth stating the possible size of the flames or fireball. And just a question if the rune were to create fireballs. Would they just be sitting idle waiting for its prey? Or would it shoot out like a firework? If it were to shoot out an estimated speed would be nice as well. And last of all, this just may be my preference but I like to know if the rune can be only placed on solid surfaces, or whichever surfaces.

Edited once again. Anything else seem amiss?

Looks good to me, +1 Approved!

First of all, magic doesn't exist in this universe. Pyromancy and the like are not skill that can be learned, however one can possess a flame based semblance, or use fire dust. This in mind, your semblance isn't actually a semblance, put in canon terms, it's just using fire dust on his sword, which technically anyone could do fairly easily, rather than a unique semblance ability.

Your strengths section is all full and detailed, but your weaknesses are thin and starving! Fix that up with some fleshed out weaknesses.

Likewise, you're gonna need more detail and words in your personality section, it's awfully short.

Revised and edited. I threw an experimental idea into the mix for my semblance. Please tell me whether or not it works, because I've grown slightly attached to the idea.

bump

Gah, sorry it took so long to get back to this, easter weekend and poison ivy on my arms makes for an inefficient snake. Anyway, I'm all fine with this, but not the grimm blood part due to lack of knowledge on them, perhaps in the future.

Approved!