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| | Kopis Asteri | |
| | Author | Message |
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Nexus
Posts : 19 Join date : 2013-10-21 Age : 27 Location : Massachusetts
| Subject: Kopis Asteri Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:51 pm | |
| CHARACTER
Name: Kopis Asteri
Age: 17
Species: faunus (wolf)
Gender: Male
Symbol: None
Appearance: 5' 10" 140lb muscular upper body, calloused fingers, lean lower body, short brown hair, light blue eyes, very light skin with light brown freckles covering his arms, shoulders and face,. he usually wears jeans and a dark T-shirt, dark grey wolf ears
Personality: Reserved around strangers and outgoing with friends, can give orders while in a fight but can also take them, reacts logically, not instinctively, in a survival situation, can work with a team but would much rather work alone, he also has issues trusting new people. Very disturbed but can suppress his violent tendency exceptionally well.
History: He grew up in a lower class family of shop owners in Vale.he was usually a gentle and kind boy but His parents would often catch him torturing or dismembering mice he had caught. Worried by their sons obvious mental instability, and desperate to find a way to suppress his psychopathic tendencies, his family enrolled him at Signal Academy. Loving the thrill of battle he excelled in all of his combat classes, finding himself naturally gifted with a bow, but didn't do so well academically which prevented him from getting a scholarship to Beacon. After a year of hunting and selling his catch, as well as a few questionable bounty hunting jobs, he eventually earned enough to pay to attend Beacon. After the years he spent training he has learned to control his violent impulses to an extent but can sometimes be found daydreaming about torturing and dismembering animals...and sometimes other people. He is able to use his aura to heal minor wounds but only if he takes a minute or two to concentrate.
Semblance: He can detect differences in heat (much like heat vision except through touch) and uses this to effectively track his prey.
Strength: He has a very keen eye and has a near perfect shot with a bow when at a maximum of 300 yards. He is also very good at tracking animals and people.
Weakness: on the (very) rare occurrence that he looses his temper he goes on a psychotic rampage attempting to kill or destroy anything that gets in his way, including friends family and teammates, which usually results in seriously injuring himself or someone he cares about. does not easily make friends and prefers solo combat to working as a team.
WEAPON
Name: QuartarStar
Primary Form: Two short swords connected by a thin carbon fiber cable (about 51" long) at the base of the hilts
Secondary Form/Function: swords Lock into a sheath from under the left armpit and over the right shoulder. Sheath can be quickly pulled off of a harness on his back and make a longbow (about 54" tall) with the drawstring being the carbon fiber cable that connects the two sword hilts. Arrows have a hollow carbon fiber shaft with a steel broad-head tip. Dust fills the hollow space in the shaft giving the arrows a shocking effect and can knock an enemy unconscious or be lethal depending on where it hits. He also wears a forearm guard to ,protect against the drawstring, which has a small knife concealed in it in case on an emergency.
History: Quarterstar is an old and broken family heirloom that Kopis reconstructed while at Signal with newer, stronger, materials. The bow was used by his family in the old days to hunt while the twin swords where meant for self defense against the creatures of Grim.
Last edited by Nexus on Wed Nov 20, 2013 9:29 pm; edited 5 times in total | |
| | | R3dder
Posts : 179 Join date : 2013-09-05
| Subject: Re: Kopis Asteri Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:24 pm | |
| Well, it's definitely a good start. However, there are somethings I feel need to be addressed. First off, you definitely need to more more info throughout your profile, especially in the background and appearance area. Some more weapon and abilities info is also greatly needed (I don't even know how big the weapon is or what it actually looks like--have some fun with the description! You also don't mention if you are able to use aura--if it's not in the profile, you can't use if period!) I suggest you take a look at what some accepted profiles put down if you are confused about what we're looking for. Second--and I can't really believe how much I need to say this-- but going on a rampage and killing everything that stands in your path is not a weakness! A weakness is something like "poor ranged capabilities, poor with aura, etc." Basically, if it involved you becoming more powerful, its not a weakness. Once again, I suggest you look at some accepted profiles. Third, you really need to fix the grammar throughout your profile. You are missing basic punctuation such as commas, periods, and capitalization. Grammar is a must-have before your profile will be accepted. So, sorry if it sounded a little harsh, but these things I mentioned all definitely need to be reconsidered and fixed before I feel I can give my vote to accept it. Sorry if it sounded a bit harsh. | |
| | | Nexus
Posts : 19 Join date : 2013-10-21 Age : 27 Location : Massachusetts
| Subject: Re: Kopis Asteri Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:35 pm | |
| No it's fine I understand (I'm a little dyslexic so I usually make a lot of mistakes but i'm working on it). Your right I should probably clarify more for example the "weakness" I men't for it to be more like he throws caution to the wind and ATTEMPTS to kill/destroy anything in his way weather it be friends family etc. so I'll make sure to edit that. as for the weapon I don't know how to describe it exactly but I'll see what I can do.
Thanks again! | |
| | | Kooplah Head Admin
Posts : 1380 Join date : 2013-09-05
| Subject: Re: Kopis Asteri Wed Oct 23, 2013 3:42 am | |
| You have my approval +1!
You need two total. | |
| | | R3dder
Posts : 179 Join date : 2013-09-05
| Subject: Re: Kopis Asteri Wed Oct 23, 2013 8:03 pm | |
| Yep!--it looks much better! Approved! | |
| | | Vox
Posts : 960 Join date : 2013-09-13 Age : 38
| Subject: Re: Kopis Asteri Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:24 pm | |
| - November 19th Copy:
CHARACTER
Name: Kopis Asteri
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Symbol: None
Appearance: 5' 10" 140lb muscular upper body, calloused fingers, lean lower body, short brown hair, light blue eyes, very light skin with light brown freckles covering his arms, shoulders and face,. he usually wears jeans and a dark T-shirt
Personality: Reserved around strangers and outgoing with friends, can give orders while in a fight but can also take them, reacts logically, not instinctively, in a survival situation, can work with a team but would much rather work alone, he also has issues trusting new people. Very disturbed but can suppress his violent tendency exceptionally well.
History: He grew up in a lower class family of shop owners in Vale.he was usually a gentle and kind boy but His parents would often catch him torturing or dismembering mice he had caught. Worried by their sons obvious mental instability, and desperate to find a way to suppress his psychopathic tendencies, his family enrolled him at Signal Academy. Loving the thrill of battle he excelled in all of his combat classes, finding himself naturally gifted with a bow, but didn't do so well academically which prevented him from getting a scholarship to Beacon. After a year of hunting and selling his catch, as well as a few questionable bounty hunting jobs, he eventually earned enough to pay to attend Beacon. After the years he spent training he has learned to control his violent impulses to an extent but can sometimes be found daydreaming about torturing and dismembering animals...and sometimes other people. He can also use his aura to detect major differences in heat through touch (like a very limited "heat vision" except through touch and only if there is a major difference. ex: man touches tree, he uses aura and can feel heat difference up to two min after the man touched the tree) and heal minor wounds but only if he takes a minute or two to concentrate
Strength: He has a very keen eye and has a near perfect shot with a bow when at a maximum of 300 yards. He is also very good at tracking animals and people.
Weakness: on the (very) rare occurrence that he looses his temper he goes on a psychotic rampage attempting to kill or destroy anything that gets in his way, including friends family and teammates, which usually results in seriously injuring himself or someone he cares about. does not easily make friends and prefers solo combat to working as a team.
WEAPON
Name: QuartarStar
Primary Form: Two short swords connected by a thin carbon fiber cable (about 51" long) at the base of the hilts
Secondary Form/Function: swords Lock into a sheath from under the left armpit and over the right shoulder. Sheath can be quickly pulled off of a harness on his back and make a longbow (about 54" tall) with the drawstring being the carbon fiber cable that connects the two sword hilts. Arrows have a hollow carbon fiber shaft with a steel broad-head tip. Dust fills the hollow space in the shaft giving the arrows a shocking effect and can knock an enemy unconscious or be lethal depending on where it hits. He also wears a forearm guard to ,protect against the drawstring, which has a small knife concealed in it in case on an emergency.
History: Quarterstar is an old and broken family heirloom that Kopis reconstructed while at Signal with newer, stronger, materials. The bow was used by his family in the old days to hunt while the twin swords where meant for self defense against the creatures of Grim.
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