Girl Talk. No Boys Allowed! [closed]

Taking up her glass, Chiu returned the toast and drank. The smokey liquid still provided a comforting warmth. The taste of peat was still smooth and gentle, but something was missing. Something she didn't notice was there until it was gone. For years the only companionship she could find had been in a bottle. They may not have been the healthiest of friends, but they had no expectations of her and they never judged her.

Here, with Alani, she had found something even better. The orange haired girl would probably expect her to be a better person, and maybe judge her when she wasn't, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

It wouldn't be able to replace the drinking though. Not unless Alani could keep her from thinking. From dreaming. But maybe she could cut back a bit. After all, she wasn't just looking out for herself anymore. Well, no. She already had people she was supposed to be looking out for. Her team. The team that she had no idea where they were or what they were doing.

"Alani. I am going to ask you a question, and I want your honest opinion. Don't worry about my feelings or try to sugar coat your answer." She told her. "Am I a terrible person?"

"I'm on a team." Chiu argued. "A team with three other people. We live and train together. And I barely know their names. I have no idea where they are or what they are doing right now. For all I know they could be dead in a ditch somewhere, and until a few moments ago I didn't care."

By now Chiu was pacing back and forth aimlessly. As if she could somehow out run the truth that was spewing from her.

"I would be surprised if they thought of me as a being part of their team. I sure as hell haven't treated them like teammates."

As she's walking through the dorm halls looking for any of a handful of people, Viola notices the scent of alcohol... again.

Depending on who it is... I could have a lot of fun with this information.

Following the smell to a door, she presses her ear to see if she can hear anything, and is only really able to tell that the people inside are both women.

Well... damn. It's not that drunken horseman. However... I do wonder who it is and if they're of legal drinking age...

Stepping back from the door, she knocks and tries to seem more or less innocent, as to not draw attention to any of her actions.

Chances. Chiu had been given plenty of chances. How many more would she get before she ran out?

Before she could reply, a knock sounded at the door once again. Marc must be looking for his partner. This could get bad. As she opened the door Chiu was surprised to find, not the spearman she had argued with before, but a black haired girl clad in various shades of purple. She seemed familiar, but Chiu couldn't place her. Like the memory of a memory.

"Can I help you?" She asked of the visitor.

"Uhm... Hi. I'm Viola. The reason I knocked is probably something you don't want public... so can I come in?" She responds to Chiu, spying one of the juicy twins sitting in the room as well.

Ahhh... so they've both been drinking... and I know they're both underage. Interesting. Depending on how this goes, maybe I could use this information for my advantage.

"I don't really mean to intrude if you guys are having a private moment... so I can leave if you'd like."

"Sure, whatever." Chiu answered, stepping aside to let Viola in. "Wait. Are you talking about that?" She asked pointing to the bottle. "People can think whatever they want about me. It's not like I care."

And then she caught a glimpse of Alani. Chiu might not have anything to lose, but Alani did.

Her head snapped back to Viola. Eyes wide and heart thundering in panic. She had done it again. She had put Alani in danger.

"My room. My bottle. Alani's not a part of this." Not thinking, Chiu grabbed Viola by the shoulders. "Report this, report me, if you want. Just don't get her in trouble because of me. Please."

Shrugging out of Chiu's arms, Viola smiles as she walks in to the room, laying down on one of the unoccupied beds.

"No worries. I don't have anything against either of you, and now I have respect for you. I wouldn't gain anything by reporting you guys anyway, I just wanted to test your reaction more than anything."

Glancing around the room, she notices the bottle and raises an eyebrow, but says nothing about it.

"So... was I interrupting anything? I was serious about leaving if you want. I'll sign a contract or whatever if you want saying that I won't report either of you."

After saying that, she scrunches her nose in slight disgust at the smell of alcohol in the air, but again, says nothing... preferring to see how things play out first.

So this girl wasn't merely a stickler for rules. Chiu started to relax, if Alani wasn't in danger then there was no reason to worry. But why would she be here then? If not to bust them. She must want something. The question was what? And could Chiu afford to give it? Best to stay on guard.

"No, you aren't interrupting." Chiu said. "We were just talking. We are the only girl on our teams. You know how it is."

Shrugging slightly before responding, Viola says.  "I don't really know how it is actually... I'm usually only in my room or around my team for 30 minutes a day, outside of classes at least. I don't even sleep in there."


"Yeah... I kinda tried to use you guys to get out of an accidental awkward situation... which didn't really work out either. My name is Viola, in case you forgot, and for her sake." She says, looking at Alani, then at Chiu.

"So... for the sake of my curiosity, what exactly were you two talking about?"

The truth or a lie. She should lie. She wanted to lie. She didn't want this new girl to know who she really was, what she was like, it was none of her business. But then again something about the black haired girl, Viola, called to her.

Replaying Viola's in her head, Chiu realized what it was. The clues were all there. The solitude. The wall thrown up to keeps others away. Did she know what it was like? Not wanting anyone close because it just hurt that much more when they were gone. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully.

Alani was like a drug to her. Offering friendship and compassion. Filling in holes in Chiu's soul she hadn't even realized were there. But like any drug, once she had a taste, she wanted more. Alani didn't understand, couldn't understand, Chiu's demons. Not really. She would try, of course, and Chiu almost loved her for that. But without having experienced them personally one could never really understand them.

Something told her that Viola could give her that. Understanding. At least, of course, if Chiu's instincts were correct. It would be a risk. Opening herself up to someone else, but she had been taking quite a few social risks lately. What was one more? So she would roll the dice hope she didn't crap out.

The truth it was. "Alani here believes a broken girl with no future can choose to make one." She finally said with a shrug. "I'm still not sure I believe her, but it's a nice idea. Better then what I have now at least."

"You always make your own future. It really doesn't matter how broken you seem to think you are, the future is ALWAYS your choice."

Standing up, she walks over to to Chiu and forces her in to a hug, whispering. "You don't have to talk to me about your past now, but if you'd like, I can tell you about mine while we're here. It's gonna come out sooner or later... and maybe it'll help you."

Releasing the forced hug, Viola walks back to the bed she was on and relaxes a little more.

"And, no offense Alani... but not trusting anyone is the only reason I'm able to make it through a single day, let alone the last seven years. The first thing I learned after my incident was that having people put trust in you is what leads to problems in the first place. Believe me when I say this... trusting the wrong people will let them abuse that trust for whatever they see fit, which can be just as mentally damaging as anything else."

Glancing around, she hopes neither of the women took her words too harshly, as it's just what she views as the truth.

It was true. Trust got you killed. Chiu understood that better than most. Perhaps not exactly in the same way as Viola, not trusting so you could not be hurt, more the other side of the same coin. The cause to Viola's effect. Someone had trusted her. Relied on her. And Chiu killed him for it.

Even as she grabbed bottle and downed several healthy swallows Chiu could not believe what she was about to do. But she had to. They had to know, and to be honest, she needed to tell them. To say the words. She had left it bottled in side for so long. For too long. It needed to be done.

Sitting down, her head dropped. Eyes locked onto her feet. She had the strength to tell the story, but no to look them in the eyes while she did it. She would never be strong enough for that. She took a deep breath. Held it. And released it in a staggered sigh.

"This is the story of a foolish little boy, and the girl that killed him."
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I grew up in a small village in the kingdom of Mistral. An ancient little village that boasts several elite hunting families. My own chief amongst them. They say we were once a single clan, tasked with the eradication of Grimm since before man was given the gift of dust. Our village is synonymous with elite hunters in Mistral. If you have a Grimm you can't kill you come to us. If you have a life you can't save you come to us. It is why we exist. Killing Grimm and saving lives.

I'm telling you this because I want you to understand what I mean when I say my brother was a prodigy. He was in training before he was 6. Graduated from Sanctum by the time he was 12. Enrolled here at Beacon soon after. No one in the entire village was as skilled in combat as he was. He never lost a sparring match even against the most experienced hunters. So when he asked if I wanted to come with him on a training trip out into the forests that lined the village, I jumped at the chance.

It took every trick I knew and more promises than I could ever keep to convince our parents to let me go. I was only seven at the time, but he was 14 and already a legend. Eventually we were able to convince them it would be fine.

When we left early the next morning Ce carried our bags and food while I, I was given the honor of carrying his weapon. Lunar Dragon. And tasked with watching out for danger.

We hiked for several hours, and even though I forced myself to keep up and not complain, he always found some reason to stop and let me rest. Sometime later, I'm not really sure when, I started to get this feeling. Like a tickle behind my eyes. If I had said something to Ce he would have known what it was, had some warning, but instead I stayed silent. I didn't want him to think I was making an excuse to stop.

Later on it happened again. Stronger, more persistent. Again I said nothing.

Eventually we came to a small clearing surrounded by thick groves of trees. By now my head was throbbing. Almost painfully. But I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I couldn't let him see me being weak. When he was my age he had tougher, stronger, and I would live up to that.

To this day I don't know what happened first. The searing pain in my head. Ce calling for his swords. Or the half dozen Ursi that came bounding out of the trees.

Even unarmed Ce was death incarnate. Before I knew it two Ursa were dead and Ce was fighting off another armed with only a pair of large rocks. Another pair were closing in on him, and again he called for his swords. I didn't answer. Didn't act. Didn't hear. My entire world consisted of only the swords clutched in my arms. And the Ursa charging towards me.

I don't remember much from there. Mostly just blurred images. Blood. Shadow. And fire.

A hunting team found me some time later. The Ursa had nearly eviscerated me, shards from Lunar Dragon were embedded in my stomach. And around me were six dead Ursai, and my brother's broken body.

They told me later that the tickle I felt was probably my aura, warning me of danger. Ce had wanted me to go with him because he wanted to train me in my aura. He had trusted me with his safety. And I failed him.

And yet he still saved me. Gave his life for me. He trusted me, and that trust got him killed.

So remember what you said Viola. I just told you what happened to the last person to trust me.

Potentially sad/NSFW things forward. Read at your discretion.

Nodding her head throughout Chiu's story, she's surprised by some of it but retains a calm face and just listens. At the end, she thinks on exactly what to say and give away... and decides on everything. Almost everything, that is.

"I appreciate you sharing that with me. Once I finish with my story, maybe you'll understand where I'm coming from. Or maybe you'll want to kill me. We'll figure it out, I'm sure."

Sighing, she lays all the way down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"I've heard stories similar to yours more than a dozen times over the last few years. They all have one thing in common. The person that survived in those similar stories always killed themselves sometime within a year after the event. Siblings, friends, mothers and fathers, doesn't matter. The survivor always ended their own life out of guilt. You haven't done that, which means you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. Your brother saw this, I see this, and Beacon administration sees this. You just need to see it."

Closing her eyes, she relaxes entirely and gets ready to potentially condemn herself.

"This is the story of the little girl who killed her parents."

-------------------------------------------

I was an orphan. Orphaned at birth, in fact. Nobody knows what actually happened to my birth parents, but I was left at the doorstep of an orphanage at 3 months old and was very shortly adopted by a farming family. As I grew up with them, they didn't keep it a secret that I was adopted, but I never cared. They raised me. They were the ones who cared for me. Taught me. They helped lead me towards a life I wanted, not one I couldn't choose for myself. They may not have given birth to me, but they were my parents. But in the end, I still messed up.

The first mistake I made, I was eight years old. Not much older than you were at the time of your incident. I accidentally killed about forty percent of the crop for that year, through an improper mix of chemicals. Instead of being yelled at, instead of being beaten, I was pulled to the side and my father explained what I did wrong, and what to avoid in the future. There was no hate in his eyes, no anger in his voice, just forgiveness and understanding. I felt bad about it for years after. In a way, I still do.

The next mistake? I was ten. I wasn't a very reckless child, but I had my moments. I was feeding the animals, and got too close to some of the more aggressive ones. Needless to say, my father saved my life. It required him killing off some of our prized animals, but he saved me. Later that same day, after everything was cleaned up properly, he took me to the side again. And again, there was no hate or anger coming from him. He was disappointed, sure, but he explained what I did wrong and showed me how to avoid it in the future.

Of course, these aren't the only things I did wrong, they're just two of the biggest. Throughout the twelve years I was there, however, they never raised their voices at anything I did. They never hit me for making any kind of mistake or rude remark. They just took me off to the side and explained what I did wrong and what to do about it in the future. If things hadn't gone the way they did, I probably would have wanted to become a teacher somewhere, using their influence to guide me in teaching. But that wasn't to be.

My third and final mistake. The worst one, the one that lead to the real person I am today. I was twelve, I was starting to show my age and wanted to spend more time away from the farm. I was told that I just had to help out through the fall, and that I'd be free to go in to the city once everything was done with. I was fine with that, I was promised the ability to go to the city, something I'd never done before.

Late in the fall, near the end of the period I had to help out for, was one of the worst years yet. There wasn't enough rain, crops weren't growing, and our animals weren't getting enough fresh food to be entirely healthy. Somehow, and I still don't know how, a fire started in one of the fields. It was a small fire at first, without a lot of room to spread. My father told me to take one of the vehicles and some buckets of water over to try to put it out, because he was busy. I went to our vehicle shed, and grabbed one of the all terrain vehicles. I went to one of the storage sheds and grabbed some of the buckets we kept there. I didn't look at the contents, I just knew they were heavy with liquid and assumed it was water. I drove over to the fire, and started throwing buckets of what I thought was water over it. It was not water. It was oil. It caused the fire to spread extremely quickly, and I was instantly afraid. Afraid I'd destroy everything, and everyone.

I froze. I froze in much the same way you did, and I just sat there, watching. Watching the fire burn and destroy everything I had grown up with. At some point, I was able to move, and numbly drove back to the main house... which had managed to catch fire by this time. I ran around, looking for my parents. Looking for their hope, their understanding, their love. What I found chilled me to the bone, even today.

My parents were hugging each other, fear in their eyes. They had already accepted they were going to die. They were trapped behind some burning debris, and it was enough to prevent them from escaping the house. But it wasn't fear for each other, or fear for themselves. It was fear that I wasn't going to make it. Their useless daughter that caused the destruction. The daughter that caused their deaths. They were going to die, and they knew it, but they forgave me. They didn't blame me for anything. The only thing they wanted for me was to live my life, and not to blame myself.

I sat there, crying, for what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes. I saw their bodies catch fire. I heard their screams. I smelt them burning. I tasted the smoke in the air. I felt the heat of the flames near my own body. I was prepared to die, right there with them. I didn't think I deserved to live, either. I had caused this... it was only right that I die along with them.

Something in me snapped, though. Once their screams stopped and I saw their charred corpses, charred bones, and lifeless eyes... I just couldn't do it. I ran out of the house. I suffered some burns, some that I still have today. They are reminders of why I do what I do, and why I am what I am. I sat outside crying, for I don't know how long. Hours, days, it didn't really matter. But once the fire started dying down, I promised myself to never be put in a position like that again. I wouldn't let anyone get close to me, for fear of hurting them. For fear of destroying more of my sanity. For fear of actually going with it and killing myself.

-------------------------------------------

"I've tried forgiving myself for causing the accident. I've tried forgiving myself for watching them die. I've tried forgiving myself for my weakness in staying alive. But I can't do it. I don't think I'll ever be able to be free of the guilt, and it will stay with me for the rest of my life."

Sitting up, she wipes away some of the brief tears she had shed.

"You'll notice that I never introduce myself with my last name. I haven't once, over the last seven years. I never will. It's one of my many punishments to myself for what I did."

Looking directly at Chiu, having completely forgotten Alani was even in the room, she continues.

"Your view makes it sound like you think your brother died because of you. I think he died for you. He could have saved himself. He could have just let you die. But he thought there was something worth saving, and so do I. He died so you would live a full life, and not die at just seven years old. If you could speak to him now, I think he'd be disappointed in you. He wouldn't be disappointed because you survived, he'd be disappointed because you haven't really lived yet."

Turning her head back to the ceiling, she keeps these next thoughts to herself.

Though... I do think her brother was an idiot for taking a seven year old in to the forest to teach her, instead of the comfort of their own home or village.

Chiu was speechless. She wanted to say something comforting. Something reassuring. But she couldn't. The words just would not come. Chiu had lost a lot. The most important thing in her life. But Viola had lost everything. And yet she seemed stronger than Chiu. Better.

Maybe they were right. Maybe she could live her own life. Maybe. Probably not. But she would try.

"I hope you both understand why I had to tell my story. It's fine to feel guilt. It's fine to feel regret. For a while, it might even be fine to shut yourself out from everything. However, it's never fine to just give up. Giving up is the only real sign of weakness there is in this world... if you don't fight to stay alive, or fight for what you believe in, what point is there in doing anything?"

Sighing before laying back down on the bed, she considers if she should continue.

I can't believe I did that... though neither of them seems to condemn me either, so maybe it isn't all bad. I can't move past my mistakes, but I'm fairly certain I can help others move past theirs.

"The road to forgiving yourself will never be easy, but you don't have to travel it on your own. There will always be people who understand you, to some degree. I'll always be here for you if you need me, though there are more things you might want to know about me first."

It was a funny thing really. Chiu had always walked alone. Pushing people away in order to keep them safe. But everything was changing. Now there were two people here who cared for her. Wanted to walk with her. And she couldn't bring herself to push them away.

For the last decade she had tried to walk alone, her thoughts and memories the only companions. And where had that gotten her? Only to the brink of the abyss. She needed to turn off this road, to turn away from the darkness, but she wasn't strong enough. Alani would help her, she knew. Viola had promised the same. So maybe she could do it.

Something else Viola said bothered her though. "You two are here for me when you don't need to be. Helping me even though you don't have to." Chiu said to the black haired girl lounging on the bed. "There is nothing else I need to know. If you ever need me, I will be there."

"Ahhh... that was one thing I forgot. Drowning your pain in alcohol isn't going to solve anything. I may be of age, but I haven't touched alcohol once, and don't plan on it."

Standing up, she stretches and yawns before glancing between the two younger girls.

"However... a celebration of some kind sounds good. A trip in to the city maybe? My treat."

Chiu should have seen that coming. She knew the drinking was not exactly the healthiest of habits, but it also wasn't something she could just give up either. It had become a part of her. She could cut back though, she'd already planned on it, cut back as much as she could handle. For her friends.

Friends. Earlier that had Chiu had not had a single person she called a friend. Then Alani appeared and she had one. Chiu had thought that was plenty. She could not have imagined having a better friend. Now, only a few minutes later, she had two and going back to one was an unimaginable nightmare.

"I won't promise to stop completely." Placing the bottle down, she turned away from it. "I don't think I can, not yet, but I will cut back. Little by little maybe."

Standing up, she brushed off her legs and stretched. "And you know...I think the city sounds great."